Well…damn, with the bad news yesterday, I am pretty depressed this morning and with the heat still coming on that makes it worse…and I just got a frost alert on my bottom banner and I just wish it would kill the damn garden and get it over with….it’s 37 damn degrees out there and it’s almost June and I can’t take the cold anymore….I wonder if I’ll just write the day off and not eat anything? My damn gout is flaring again and my right foot is feeling numb from it…think I may try to get on the bike today but it hurts still so that might not work out…just remembered I have eggs in the fridge and I may make a couple sunny side up to have with some toast….but I need to keep the calories around 500 if I don’t get on the bike….it’s a leftover day today with a pork chop and a dog to eat…I am going to have a burger tomorrow…damn, I’d love to have a day where I eat whatever I want….and I still have the Italian sausage with artichoke and garlic to try…having to watch F1 on a New Zealand channel this morning since the UK channel is not working so some pretty weird commercials are on….not much to do today…can I just melt into the couch? So damn tired and worn out from life that I want it to just stop for a while…but it doesn’t so what do I do? More later…

Well…it is really strange to wake up in the morning knowing you have nothing to do…and there is no sense of urgency to get going and get doing….I really don’t like it much…the only thing I have to do today is grill some pork chops and I wonder if I should slice some potatoes to put on the grill, too? Really trying to cut the calories while I heal up but gaining a few pounds this week is not the end of the world…thinking about making a run over to Ollies today to look for shorts and t-shirts…they have shorts for 6.99 and t-shirts for 1.99 again and with how things are hanging off me with the weight loss, I really need to get something that fits…didn’t get anything done yesterday and today will probably be the same but I should clean a bit…have to get the cups cleaned up downstairs and take the light down…maybe that will be the project for the day…pretty darn worn out this morning and need to pour some more coffee down me to get started and should do that right now…more later….

Well…damn, I need to just stop buying food…did the grocery run this morning to three stores and got so much food there is not any room in my freezer…got the regular stuff at Aldi’s and bought a dozen eggs on sale for 1.19…and then at Meijers I got two pounds of burger to grill in a couple of days…one of them is already in the freezer…but then at DD it all went off the rails…bought 2 pounds of smoked ham for 4 bucks…ribs for 1.99 a pound and Italian sausage for 2 bucks a package…I’m a little curious how artichoke and garlic goes together in one package but I froze the other one already…I’ve already thawed two pork chops for the grill tomorrow so none of the new food will be used til the weekend….and me without being able to burn off the calories…crap….I did keep lunch down to a small roast potato and half a chicken breast and that is about 500 calories so I’m doing okay so far…will stay under 1K for the day…still hurt from Monday so I’m trying to take it easy….

Well…darn, it’s just too weird not having to get on the bike….it changes the pace of my days and makes it so much more relaxing that I’m not sure how to deal with it…but I’m still looking forward to the day when I can ride again….I did fire up the grill yesterday and cooked some chicken breasts and had half of one of them for dinner…after the huge burger I had for lunch, I needed to restrict the calories….I did watch the new “John Wick” movie last night and it was another body count bonanza that kept me interested through the whole thing and passed my night so that was cool…had a bunch of pain from the biopsy last night that seems to be better today…there is a frost warning for tonight and I am damn tired of the cold…supposed to get down to 34 tonight but I don’t care about the garden so I’m not going to cover it…when did corn get so expensive? 2 bucks for 5 ears when it used to be 5 ears for a buck…going to head over to Sternberg road today since DD has assorted Italian sausage on sale for 2 bucks a pound and ribs for 2 bucks a pound and with a working grill, that stuff will be tasty…but I wonder if I should buy it with the calorie restriction I have to do? Not much to do today…just the grocery run and some cleaning but I still have to wait a while to get going since Aldis doesn’t open til 8:30….more later..

Well…I have the one task I was planning to do done, and now I have a full tank of gas that will last me a couple of years…and the guy that filled it got the adapter off and I’m glad he did since it is a left hand thread and I would never have known that…we talked a bit and found out he used to have a Miata that he traded for a motorcycle…it cost a little more than the cheapest place but it’s less than 5 minutes from here so that’s cool…still was only 20 bucks to have it filled and the convenience is worth the extra few bucks…so now my brother is coming over to drop off some equipment I lent him a while back and we’re going out to lunch…that should be interesting…more later…

Well…it is really weird to wake up with no sense of urgency to get things done….have a few days of enforced rest that I have to endure and I’m not sure how to do that…yeah, I know most people would love that but it’s just not me…but, I’ll live through it and maybe might just enjoy it….the sun is really red this morning from the Canadian wildfires and it looks pretty cool but I know a lot of people are suffering from the smoke…haven’t smelled it here but it’s close…got enough work done yesterday before the biopsy that I really don’t have much to do today…going to go out and try to sort out the propane tank stuff this morning and if I can, I may cook some chicken on it later today…but it looks like I’m going to have to refit the hoses too and that will take some doing….still pretty damn sore from yesterday but it’s starting to get better and I hope that continues…I did sleep okay last night with only waking up once and not getting out of bed til 7 and that makes a solid 8 hours but I don’t think that made up for the deficit from Sunday night…that should happen tonight…not much to do today…just the propane tank errand and then I’m taking it easy for the rest of the day….more later…

Well…finally, the biopsy is done and I’m home sitting on my couch with a big glass of ice water watching some Indy practice…this one hurt a lot worse than the first one and I was gritting my teeth all the way through it…and there is residual pain that I didn’t have the first time…I will be off the bike for a week the way it feels right now…should have the results next week and I can’t wait…

Well…damn, that was probably the worst sleep I’ve had in a year…went to be at 11 but just laid there tossing and turning until I got out of bed at a little after two…then back in bed for more tossing and turning until almost 4:30 and then up at 6:13…I am worn out and there will be a nap after the biopsy this afternoon…damn, the heat is still running on May 22nd and it is only 45 out there and I am so tired of it…froze my butt off in bed last night and woke up shivering and I still feel cold…but I need to get on the bike by 8 to get a ride in before I mow the lawn…and I may try to do a second ride if I can get the lawn done by 10:30….I’ll be off the bike the rest of the week with the pain…made the mistake of getting on it three days after the last one and that really hurt…didn’t get much done yesterday but I’ll be racing this morning to have everything done before I jump in the shower and make lunch around noon to be at the appointment at 1…at least there is no wind out there today so the rides will be okay…I think I’m going to buy a new tank for the grill tomorrow and get it filled so I can start using it…a grilled burger would taste good or some pork chops later in the week…not much to do today…not going to be a fun day today and even with being good last night I feel worn out already…more coffee and more later….

Well…have been  looking for a topic since I got off the bike at 11 and I am not having any luck…this is harder than it looks…after doing almost 11,000 of these, coming up with topics has gotten pretty hard lately…and I don’t want to talk about the idiot trump anymore until they lock him up for the rest of his life…but, I’m going to keep trying this afternoon so I could surprise you with something new…stay tuned…

Well…man, up at 6:23 this morning and have 50 minutes to get on the bike to get two rides in today…but it’s still too cold to go out so I guess I’ll have to wait…and you know I’m not good at that…didn’t get a lot done yesterday and today will be the same with final qualifying for Indy this afternoon….and there is a nascar race on later…I am getting a little anxious about the biopsy tomorrow and knowing this week if I’m dying or not….just getting so damn tired of this crap and treatment hasn’t even started yet…had two meals yesterday and I am feeling so guilty of eating so much so I may just skip eating today…I don’t know why I’m even taking care of myself at all if the biopsy results are bad…some of the seeds in the garden annex have come up so it will be interesting to see what they are and if I actually get any veggies from them…the first flowers are getting ready to bloom out back and I can’t wait to see them….still don’t understand why the tomatoes are dying in the garden and I may not get anything from them this year…I don’t need the stress of looking at them gradually turning white….not much to do today….need to get on the bike soon but it’s only 49 and that’s too darn cold…and I’ve only had one cup of coffee and need a heck of a lot more than that….more later…