Well…I did get out on the bike and got to 2K today….but that’s not really the subject of this one…when I got to the top of the first climb and my water stop, there was a glimpse of the happiness that I’ve been missing…but it was like when your car is wet and you are trying to start it…it wants to start; it almost starts, then it sputters for a few seconds while you work the gas pedal trying to get it to catch, then no matter what you do it just sputters and sputters and then quits with a strange wheezing sound. The next time you try the battery starts to go dead and you feel in your stomach that it’s not going to start. That was my bike ride today…and it is so damn frustrating when you can start to feel the happiness a little but then, when you try to understand and keep it going, it’s just gone and you’re back where you were….and it seems like such a damn fine line that you just can’t get across…

Oh, well…at least I could see across the river for a few seconds….maybe it will come back later….