Well…as you know, I have been worrying about getting my first full gas bill for the house with it being colder than normal…and the heat seems to run all the time and makes me cringe every time it comes on….the visions of a 300 dollar a month gas bill has been weighing on me since I moved in here even with only keeping it 65 degrees…so, you can imagine my surprise when I just got the bill in the mail and it was only 108 bucks…now, that may seem like a lot to people in newer houses with efficient furnaces, but for a 60 year old house with a 60 year old furnace I don’t think 108 bucks is too bad and it is something that I can easily afford…and I know that I can even afford it in February when I know it will get over 200 bucks…but, it’s not the 300 bucks that I feared so I’ll take that as good news since there is really nothing I can do about it…just can’t take it any colder in here…

Well…as you can see, I didn’t come back for a second one yesterday and there really is no reason for it other than I just didn’t have the motivation to do anything…no masking in the kitchen or anything else other than watching tv…I did get my speakers treated so they look better but that was it…will have to do better today…slept okay last night and didn’t get up until after 6:30 but still feel quite tired today that I hope goes away soon…I have a new chicken thigh recipe that I am going to try today and it looks good with a brown sugar glaze that I am changing from honey since I don’t have any honey here…and I have leftover mashed potatoes to go with it so it should be an easy lunch to make….didn’t get on the bike yesterday and it looks like the next time won’t be until Friday with the cold coming in tomorrow…I mean 15 for a high Wed? Then a warmup comes for about 5 days so I will be able to reach my goal for the year….I do need to get my hair cut tomorrow since the last time I had it cut was before I moved in here and that is two months today…not much to do today…I am going to ease into the day this morning with more coffee and then try to get motivated to get the prep done in the kitchen…need to paint this week so I can get started on the cabinet doors at the end of the hallway….more later….

Well…running a little late today but that’s normal for a Sunday with the Sunday paper to get through before I come here….last night was a little boring with watching the Brad Pitt movie “Ad Astra” that got good reviews but I don’t understand why…it was an okay movie but so slow and I really didn’t get the point of it…at times it was like “Heart of Darkness” and other times it was just Pitt brooding all over the place…not a waste of the night but close….slept okay last night and don’t feel too bad right now with the first cup of coffee starting to work and I hope that continues…I did get a nice bike ride in yesterday but it looks like I’ll be off the bike for a few days with the cold coming in but I only have 36 miles left to do to get to 4500 for the year…so I may be able to make it outside….I do need to get the dining area masked off today so I can get to painting this week and continue to clean…and I need to treat the wood on my old speakers since they are really dry looking and need maintenance to keep them going for another 50 years…cripes…my speakers are 50 years old! Just realized that and it is pretty cool…they still work fine and will be passed on to someone else when I’m gone….moe later….

Well…sitting here at 3:30 in the afternoon and just had to put a light on to be able to see my keyboard….and that is really, really depressing since it is going to be dark by 5 or so…I know that’s just the way it is in winter in Michigan but damn, it was barely light at all today….and it is going to get worse until the winter solstice a week from today when we’ll have the least amount of daylight for the entire year…but, I guess one good thing is that after next week, we are starting toward spring and the daylight every day will get longer….slowly, but longer every day and that will give me something to look forward to….but, I know that winter has barely started and there will be blizzards and snow shoveling and more depression coming…and I still haven’t gotten my first full gas bill yet that I fear is going to be 300 bucks plus and that is depressing, too…are you depressed yet? Yeah, I guess this one didn’t help much….tomorrow should be better….not sure why but I can still have hope…and I need to remember that so many people have it worse than I do and I probably should stop bitching….so, I will….

Well…okay…feel like crap this morning after having cocktails last night and I think that may be the last night for that…had such bad heartburn trying to sleep that I hardly slept at all…it’s just not worth it so I think I’m done with it…oh, well…had an okay day yesterday and got out to have a couple with K and that was fun but the damn traffic coming back here turned a 15 minute trip into a half hour and that was no fun…and I realized that where I used to live is just one big strip mall with it’s own traffic problems…I mean sitting at a left turn light through three cycles? I guess I’m just grumpy this morning with  the effects of the cocktails and I can’t wait for it to be over…and the coffee isn’t working yet…didn’t get much done yesterday and today looks the same with how I feel…I did get the bike and the car washed and a nice ride in and getting a ride in today will be my only goal for the day….but, right now I’m just going to sit here and feel lousy for a few hours….more later…

Well…that’s 5 days with no cocktails and I’m a little concerned that how I feel in the morning now is from being old and not anything else…I do feel better than I do after a cocktail night so that’s something but I’m not going to spend the rest of my life not enjoying myself…and that was one of the things I was trying to figure out, how I would feel normally without anything skewing it…and now I know and I think moderation is going to return as my mantra…but, not tonight…the latest season of “the Expanse” dropped last night and I have been looking forward to that for months so I will have a  cocktail or two when I watch it tonight…but, I need to figure out how to watch it since it’s move to Amazon has all of the episodes available and I want to spread it out to make my Friday night more normal and have something to look forward to….had another night of pretty good sleep last night and feel pretty good this morning and part of it is getting a ride in yesterday…and it looks like I’ll get another one in today but it may be the last one outside for the year with the cold and snow coming back….so, I need to wash the bike later and get it downstairs and set up on the trainer so I can get to 4500 for the year…only a little over 50 miles to go so I think I can make it….I am going to make the first of two hams over the holidays today…picked up a small one at Meijers this week but need a second one so I can make my ham soup in January…or maybe I’ll use the turkey carcass first…not sure yet… I do know that I have a freezer full of food that I need to start using so I have room….more later…oh, I will get to a political one later today….the impeachment vote is this morning so I DO need to talk about that….

Well…running a little late this morning with staying in bed until almost 6:30…I wonder if there is something to this no cocktail thing? Still tossed and turned but was able to sleep okay and feel okay this morning…was pretty depressed for some reason last night and part of it was boredom and part of it was the bills that are piling up….it does look like I need to not spend on anything but food until Feb but that is okay…have everything I need until then and it may just revive my discipline some…just as having no cocktails is doing…didn’t get much done yesterday but clean some and the grocery runs and I have enough food here now for a month or so with a fully stocked freezer so I think I treat it as a challenge to see how little I can spend over the next few months….if I can get down to about 40 bucks a week, that should allow me to build my reserves back up pretty quickly…didn’t get on the bike yesterday with how darn cold it was all day but I am going to try to get out today and tomorrow but will have to be really careful with the ice that won’t melt until later in the afternoon….just don’t want to have another 8 months of not being able to use my shoulder from another crash…I am going to get the kitchen prep finished today and might even start to paint but I’m not sure about that yet…want to ease into the day with coffee and some news so I’ll end here….more later…

Well…running a little late today with forcing myself to stay in bed until almost 6:30 after getting up at 5 or so…and I feel okay this morning after three nights of being good…and I think I’ll continue that for a couple more days until Friday when the Expanse new season comes out…that I’ll need a cocktail for…but, maybe not…a week would be a good goal for being good and that would mean until Sunday…didn’t get much done around here but fill some more in the kitchen that needs to be sanded today so I can paint…but I am going to do that by hand to try to keep the dust down and use a drop cloth to catch it since the repaired parts are high up on the wall and ceiling…and I don’t want another mess like the other day that took me hours to clean up…after I get that done, I think I’m going to try to take a couple of guilt free weeks and just live for a while instead of thinking about working all the time…then get back to working after the first of the year….yeah, that will work…I’ll probably get a day or so and then get antsy to get things done and get back to it…we’ll see…not much to do today…it’s grocery run day and then I really need to clean the living room…might have to buy one of those dusters if they are not too expensive…this place is pretty dusty and I need an easy way to keep it up…more later…

Well…I was a little disappointed this morning when I rolled over in bed and looked at my phone without my glasses and thought it said 6:44…but after I put my glasses on it was only 5:44 and I had already decided to get up…but 5:44 is okay with sleeping okay with just the normal tossing and turning…and that was day two of the no cocktail experiment and I don’t feel too bad this morning so I think I’ll continue it all week…I think I miss the process of making cocktails more than the cocktails themselves and that is a little weird….I did get the sanding done in the kitchen yesterday and it didn’t take that long…the clean up of all the dust took about twice as long as the actual work and I am still fining dust everywhere so that cleanup will go on for a while…I probably should have worn a mask when I was sanding since my head was plugged up the rest of the day but I’m not too bad right now so maybe there is no permanent damage….I did get a bike ride in yesterday but It looks like I’ll have the next two days off with the highs being about 20 and that is just too cold for me…and with all of the water on the trail, there is going to be too much ice to deal with so I’ll wait til it thaws Thursday or Friday….only have about 65 miles to do to get to 4500 for the year so I can still try to get that done outside and will probably wait til January to put the bike on the trainer….not much to do today….I’ll probably wait til Wed to start painting the kitchen since I need a drop cloth to cover everything and don’t feel like going out just for that….will take care of that during the grocery run tomorrow…so, I’ll get started on the spare bedroom and taking apart the huge headboard/bookcase that was left behind….more later….

Well…damn, just noticed that it has been two days without doing a second one of these and I do need to do better about that…so maybe 3 today? I did sleep okay last night and I decided to take better care of myself by not having cocktails for a while and I do feel better so far today so I’m interested how that is going to feel after a couple of weeks off…might be part of a series that I could do…we’ll see…didn’t get a lot done yesterday but work downstairs for a while but I do need to get the sanding done in the dining area today so I can get started painting it…I have decided to keep some of the pink in there for an accent and some continuity to how the house used to look…while I like the all white, I am now starting to lean to having some color in various places…just starting to percolate that in my head but don’t really have any plans yet….I did get a nice long ride in yesterday but it looks like rain all day today so I I’ll just work in here and get some cleaning done….it looks like I’ll be off the bike until Friday but that’s okay…was going to set the trainer up but don’t want to do that yet if there are any days left that I can ride outdoors…more later…