July 14th

Well…I’m pretty depressed this morning that the paint sprayer didn’t work to do the garage and I have all that painting to do by hand now….and I hurt like crazy everywhere so that is not going to happen today…and with the rain coming tomorrow, I shouldn’t paint anyway…don’t even feel like getting on the bike this morning but I know I will…maybe I’ll just clean some today since this place needs it and I have been ignoring that lately…after the debacle yesterday, I didn’t get much done other than riding…my gardens are turning into a bust this year and I am thinking about just uprooting everything and giving up…have 2 cukes on 6 plants and they die as soon as they bloom and I wonder if they are not getting pollinated…and the beans are done fruiting with only two meals out of the 6 plants I have in…and it looks like I’m going to get about a dozen tomatoes off a dozen plants so that is depressing too….even my sunflowers are dying and that just adds to my depression….and I need to find a house soon and that appears like it’s not going to happen so I’ll be back in an apartment somewhere before the end of the year…and that is weighing on me every damn day and doesn’t let me enjoy anything…do you think I’m depressed? Yep….but I’ll get through it…maybe I’ll go out and buy a new bath towel today since the one I’m using is 15 years old and falling apart….some act of normalcy would be welcome at this point….more later…

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