April 20th

Well…I think I’m still holding the fact that my brother died at arms length by immersing myself in the routine of life….but it doesn’t seem right somehow that I’m doing the grocery run, moving into my new bedroom, and cleaning…and life goes on as before and he’s gone…hmmm…but I know it has to so here goes…again….I did sleep okay last night and didn’t get up til after 6 so that is a win for how badly I’ve been sleeping lately….one funny thing came out of moving into the new bedroom yesterday…I have been calling it the “big bedroom” for a while now but yesterday I got out the tape measure to find out just how much bigger it is…and it’s only one foot longer than the one I’m using now…and, with the design of the house, it is the same width but it just feels bigger with the 8 foot ceiling in there that is not hidden by a crappy dropped ceiling like the room I’m using now….houses were different back when this one was built and bedrooms were to sleep in and that’s what they were built for…not the palatial all purpose rooms they are now…and that’s fine…I really don’t want or need them to be bigger…would rather the space be used for the rest of the house and even 1100 SF is fine for one person living alone….not much to do today…just need to get back on the bike downstairs today even though I may try to get a ride in outdoors, too, and then the grocery run and moving the bed and nightstand into the new bedroom…and I need to cook today since the big ham is almost ready for the freezer and I have chicken and burger thawing for the next few days of meals….more later….

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