June 19th

Well…damn, feel like crap this morning and did it to myself…and that makes me feel even worse…..my right foot is swelled up like every time I do this stupid crap and I wonder how I keep doing this at my advanced age? Shouldn’t I have this figured out? Crap, crap, crap…..at least I had the top down on the car when I went out to get the paper this morning and that woke me up a bit….got some bad news from T at 5 am this morning…her mom fell down the stairs at her house and broke her arm in two places…what else is she going to have to go through? I feel so bad for her and her mom…and that puts my small troubles in perspective….another crap….I don’t want to get on the bike this morning…I really don’t want to do anything….can I just sit here on my couch? Nope…..is there a reset button I can push for my brain? It seems that’s what I need today but if I don’t get on the bike my day will be bathed in guilt and I’ll feel even worse…didn’t get anything done yesterday but laundry and the day feels like such a waste….I did do 30 on the bike but that is the minimum now it seems…okay, this has gotten to be too much work and I don’t want to do it anymore….and it’s father’s day and I’ll only hear from my daughter….not from the boys…how crappy is that? More later….

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