March 19th

Well…yesterday sucked…went over to see my brother and he’s gone…only recognized me for a brief second and it hit me like a punch in the face…I’ve been getting myself ready for this day for a while now but that doesn’t make it any easier…he’s been there my entire life and soon he won’t be…I know it’s how life goes but it makes me feel my end coming….the heater core in my car is still leaking and I need to find a new car soon but all I want to do is just sit here…feel so damn worn out and the cold weather we are having doesn’t help…rain and snow again today and a high of 40 with wind of 20-30 and I am so tired of the wind…it was blowing the car around on the trip into GR yesterday and that was a lot of work…didn’t do the weight work yesterday and I don’t want to get on the bike today…but I will…and the cleaning won’t do itself so I need to get that started today…damn, it’s 7:10 and i need to get on the bike here in 20 minutes…just feel old today and that sucks…the wind is howling already and I could use a little peace and quiet…not much to do today…cleaning, cleaning, cleaning….more later…

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