Well…it’s later in the day and reason has substituted for pain….so I’m glad I’ve waited this long to come back today, or I would have had to delete any post that I would have written. It’s been a tough couple of days emotionally for me but I don’t want to get into that as yet…I will later, but it gets back to the change thing that I struggle with all the time and how it relates to friendship. I see mine dying all the time and I really don’t know what to do about it…I usually attribute it to the changes that come with differing stages of life; stages that I’ve already gone through but is that it? That’s the problem, I don’t know. I also don’t know if I have the energy or desire to try to construct new ones…just to have them die and end up back here thinking about it again.

I do know one thing…that I have depended on these relationships too much; have given them more value than I should have; even defined myself by them…but that is just me..basically all or nothing when it comes to everything…you get a huge high when it is working but I don’t know if the inevitable low and pain is worth it….more later….

Oh…I would like to claim that first line as my own…but, it is borrowed from the song “Live My Life Again” by Jim Fox…