Well…it’s 5:03 and I’m up again…another night of ugly sleep but I think I may be getting used to it again….had a little fun and made a few bucks yesterday…went out to meet up with C at Vinny’s and had a couple of beers, played Keno and lost but that is okay..I am going to spend a couple of bucks today to get a Mega Millions ticket since it is up to 168 million…have to go out this morning to get the groceries I need for the weekend…I hope I can get a small rib roast…I haven’t made any beef in quite a while and I am getting excited for a rare to medium rare slab of meat, and a nice bottle of cabernet…I am a little irked that we are all forced to observe a religious holiday..after all, there are about 15% of us that are the rationalists and don’t celebrate…oh, well…other than that, not much to do today…did most of the cleaning yesterday so it looks like just coffee and working out today…maybe out to have a couple with K this aft before the bars close but I’ll be okay with just hanging here…I’ll try to get a couple out later this morning since I haven’t talked about politics or sports in a while…
Is this what I’m supposed to do?
Well…there were a lot of developments this week on the legislative front and the accomplishments were truly great when you look at it in the context of the rancor that has poisoned politics over the last two years or so…and I know I’m supposed to be overjoyed or something but I really don’t feel anything right now….I know I’m supposed to comment with lucid thoughts and insights on these happenings but I feel hollow and blank…and it’s not the holidays since I don’t celebrate them…saturday is just another day to me…how am I supposed to feel?
That’s the problem….I don’t even think I know how to be human any more, to be who I’m supposed to be…but, who is that? I still love doing this…this little slice of life that I share everyday and I also am humbled by the fact that quite a few of you keep coming back everyday to share in this weird, old guys life….I guess it’s what I shared with T this morning, though…that when you start thinking of your life in months and just keep trying to buy more by whatever means you can, it’s different…I don’t know if we’re wired to think that way….
December 23rd
Well…it not the easiest thing to get through a day like yesterday when you feel like crap….and today is going to be another busy one…have to get the car fixed at 8am….yeah, that pretty frickin early so I thought I’d get this out before I have to get moving…I did get the money situation sorted out so I can relax for the next couple of months, and actually get real food…I may make a prime rib for christmas just to splurge on myself but I’m not sure yet….one of the boys may be coming over for a while but it’s still tentative right now…so I will have groceries to do later along with C coming into town…as I said, a busy day…by my standards anyway. Not much else to do today….you know I had to say that….I did have a couple with K last night and that was fun….it just gets longer and longer between the times I see the old group and it like it’s dissipating slowly like smoke….oh, well…need to get off my butt and get started building a new one I guess…more later….
Okay…I know I’ve not been too productive lately…but the whole money thing has been weighing on me a lot; coloring everything I’ve done over the past few months…I’m going to try to get better here in the next few days…but don’t you have those slumps, too? The ones where your brain doesn’t feel right, where you are operating in second gear and can’t find the shifter? It is really disheartening when you live in fear of an unexpected expense happening…it’s not supposed to be a 57 year olds life. I did get the car fixed…they wanted to charge me 312 dollars for an exhaust component that is 20 inches long…I just had them cobble it back together and that was still over a hundred bucks….oh, well…have to start looking for a new car I guess…
December 22
Well…did it to myself again last night…feel like crap right now so I’m going to keep this short…for now, that is…I did win at pool so that was okay….more later….really later…
Okay..back and feeling quite a bit better…was kind of busy this morning and broke the exhaust on the car again…will need to get that fixed tomorrow morning since I need a stealth car…and I like mine to be as quiet as possible…not to draw attention…I really do like to be invisible but not where women are concerned…and that seems to be where my invisibility works the best..oh, well….as I said, I did have stuff to do today so this may be the only one for the day…I have a Netflix movie to watch and with getting no sleep last night, there will be a nap involved….and I do have to glue the tip back on the cue stick…but that won’t happen today I don’t think…oops…running out of energy again so I’m going to stop here….I will try to get more out today but I’ve been so focused on getting my printer working again that the four papers I read this morning have already entered the mists of the past…kind of catchy, huh? I can write at times….I think…maybe…more later…
DADT…there goes another wedge issue….
Well…I think last Saturday’s Senate vote to repeal DADT will go down as a great leap forward in the cause of civil rights here in America. It’s about time that institutionalized discrimination in any form is eliminated from our society…I’ve lived through the slow march for civil rights here and I can say that as I was watching the vote live, I was again proud of the US…and I will give a hearty thanks to the 8 brave Republicans who let their sense of fairness override their party’s pressure to vote no. But the day was marred by the pathetic display from John McCain who has found that his voice for prejudice is being left behind by our society….I think the majority of the repubs were just livid since one of their wedge issues, that has won them elections in the past, is no longer effective….what do they have left? They have lost taxes as an issue with Obama’s compromise, they have lost DADT and other civil rights as issues to be used to divide the country, and I think when people start to see what their plans are for dividing country by changing the constitution for their narrow views of what the country can be, they will lose that issue as well.
All I have to add to the repubs is: enjoy the next two years…I think it will be your last….unless you can step up and be adults governing with the dems for the benefit of all Americans, not just the right-wing screamers and business….
December 21st
Well….there are times when tv is kind of interesting…I don’t know if you saw it or not, but Countdown did a segment last night that was a mirror image of my post on the domestic spying programs that are part of the “anti-terrorism” efforts of the DHS…and I really don’t mind they steal my stuff…yeah, I know, it’s not stealing, but their conclusions were identical to mine…should I be flattered? Or, have I gone way too far to the left? Who, knows? Nope….the right to be left alone by your government is not a right or left issue…it is an issue of the constitution and abuse of power that comes with these ill-defined programs that have no oversight.
Okay…these aren’t supposed to be politically oriented so I’ll stop now…well…the ones tagged “life” aren’t supposed to be and that is the tag here…so, I’ll get back to the life stuff….up early this morning…crappy sleep again but I’ll live through it. Missed the lunar eclipse because it was cloudy here…and I wasn’t going to stay up all night to see it anyway…I’ve seen lots of them anyway and I’ll wait for the next one in a couple of years….hmmmm….the thought just came to me that there may be a series of lasts coming since I’m getting old…when do we start thinking like that? Is there an age where that kicks in? Geez…life’s depressing enough without that kind of thinking so I won’t think about that today….I do have some things to do today…out to Ada for pool later and I think I may have my cue fixed so I’m going to use that this aft….don’t know if it will help but it is nice to drag that antique out every once in a while….I’ve had it since 1971 after all…that’s enough for now…don’t know if I’ll have 4 posts today….odds are I won’t, but I’ll try to be topical and lucid…and I should be…two days in a row of being good….more later…
Nearly off the rails….
Well…came pretty close to going off the rails on that last one…but it is important so I won’t apologize….I do sometimes…but not now….it’s been kind of an odd day today…have been very antsy and restless all day but that did help me get some work done..so that’s okay…did laundry, vacuumed, did dishes, and even worked on my pool cue for tomorrow….had to try to fix the tip and I may have been successful…we’ll see. I am now thinking about watching a netflix movie since there is no Monday with G today….I am sitting on the fence about going out to buy some refreshments for cocktail time…should probably take another day off since I am just now feeling almost normal…well, as normal as I get….and I don’t want to spend 10 bucks on the Velvet…..so I’ll keep that 10 bucks for Keno and a Mega Millions ticket….the jackpot is up to 145 mil and I need something good to think about…so, you’ve gotten 4 of these today and that has taken some of the guilt away…but only some….
Here’s the scary part….
Well…read an interesting article in the Washington Post today that tries to get a handle on the explosion of the security apparatus that has been built in America since 9/11. One of the the scariest parts of the whole domestic spying program is that no one knows how many people or dollars are being spent on it….no consistent oversight, no protections for you and me anywhere to be seen; things that would have not been thinkable 15 years ago…and our whole world has been changed without our permission to resemble a high tech Soviet Union…so that all economic activity that anyone in this country now does is recorded in huge databases that are regularly mined by federal, state, and local authorities for any reason…but you and I can’t find out the reasons since they are no longer required to tell you when you are being “seached”…in clear violation of the 4th and 5th amendments to the constitution.
But, that is not even the most scary part….you can get swallowed up by these databases just because “someone” thought you looked “suspicious”…..yep, you heard it right, no probable cause, no rights….just “someone” (who can remain anonymous) thought you looked suspicious because you come and go at odd hours, because you take pictures in some city, or because you just looked “different” than the rest of the people in the neighborhood. And, you have no right to look at you file…EVER. I can’t even count the
ways that this stuff has been abused to control people that belonged to a targeted group…can you say “driving while black”?
We, as a people, need to say stop…no, scream stop at our government…watching American citizens is no way to prevent terror attacks…but it can and has been used to chill political discourse and participation by an overzealous government in the past….and I predict it will be again. Geez….
Let’s get some perspective…
Well…read a little tidbit of information in the newspapers this morning that I hope will put his whole “terrorists are everywhere” and the biggest threat to our way of life nonsense to a rest once and for all. There were 250,000 people killed in natural disasters around the world this year…..and that number is more than the people killed by terror attacks in the last 40 years combined. Yep, all of the attacks, in all of the countries, across the globe added together for the last 40 years and mother nature kills more than that in a year. So, why the heck are we so afraid of terror attacks? It can’t be because they can’t be predicted. Or that they are of a larger scale than a hurricane, typhoon, or earthquakes. Then, what is it?
My answer is a short and sweet one…because the repubs made both political and monetary profit from keeping the scare machine going…who are the people that got the contracts for the new body scanners….repubs that came out of the revolving door of government and industry and used that incestuous relationship cynically to profit from keeping everybody scared. Aren’t you tired of being scared? If you are, it’s up to you, me and the rest of America to stand up and say that life has risks, but protection from this greatly overblown risk is not worth giving up the freedom that defines America…I hope with the DADT vote and others that have been delayed by the fear and smear tactics of the repubs, we have started to see through the fear; and have started to reclaim the innate fairness and good that is this country. We can hope…
December 20th
Well…that was a wasted day….didn’t even start to feel human until about 7 pm and still don’t think I’m at 100%…well…I’m never at 100% any more but that’s another story. I was going to do one on the repeal of DADT yesterday but I didn’t do anything at all but nurse the wounds…and you’ve seen that before on Sunday so it shouldn’t have been surprise….didn’t even go out for SF since that would have meant driving across town and that was just not going to happen…..yep…still feel like crap….and I am so sore all over that I’ll have to go back to the ibuprofen before I go out for coffee. I do have a few things to do today…..yay…have to go out for supplies this morning and then back here to get some work done….then do laundry and clean some…I think I’ll make it a goal to get the whole place cleaned up before the end of the week so I’ll have some sort of an accomplishment and won’t feel like it was another wasted week…I’m starting to feel like the Eagles song “Wasted Time”…go look it up…it doesn’t fit completely but the general theme is there….okay…time to go….more later….